First Person Shooter

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

• Spent an hour or two working to save all sentient life in the galaxy from the Reaper menace
• Spent over fifteen minutes trying to decide whether the acronyms for the Mass Effect sequels are pronounced “em-ee” or “me”
• Settled on “me,” largely because it makes the phrase “I’m playing ME2″ sound like very brief conversation with myself
• Arranged, via the interwebs, to meet a buddy at the range
• Broke in the new .22
• Let my buddy shoot my 9mm
• Surprised the crap out of my buddy by letting him shoot my .357
• Returned home
• Engaged roommate in hour-long discussion about the practicality and mechanics of capturing a passing comet with a gravity tractor and parking it in orbit to provide water to spacecraft and orbital industry

I’m a gun guy.  Frankly, I’m sort of a gun nerd, if that’s possible.  “Gun nut” is the term used by a number of my friends, but that has connotations of good ol’ boys in compounds and scruffy dudes in surplus camo.  I’m not a survivalist, and I’m not a “prepper,” a relatively modern title for a nutcase who is convinced the end of the world is coming and has stockpiled enough food to feed themselves for the rest of their lives.  Hell, I’m not even a member of the NRA.

But I do like guns.  I collect ‘em, I shoot ‘em, and I know quite a bit about ‘em.  Most of my interest is “practical;” that is, I don’t shoot in competitions, and I pretty much never shoot at a traditional “bull’s eye” target.  I mostly shoot pistols, but that’s largely due to convenience: the best range in town, and the closest to me, isn’t rated for rifles or shotguns.

I don’t hunt.  I have nothing against hunting, mind, but it wasn’t something I grew up doing.  I’ve been on a handful of rabbit or game bird trips with friends, but I’ve never stalked a deer or hunkered down in a duck blind.  I *do* have a bird gun, a long-barreled traditional pump shotgun with a limited capacity, but I don’t have a scoped deer rifle or anything like that.

Most of the time, I get funny looks from people when I tell them that I’m a “gun guy,” but that I don’t hunt.  Usually, they ask something like, “then why do you have all those guns?”  To which I reply, “…to shoot?”

Shooting is fun.  It’s extra fun if you’re shooting objects (pop cans, especially when full, burst nicely), but even poking holes in paper can be extremely entertaining.  It’s a good way to relieve stress, it builds hand-eye coordination, and, frankly, I’m pretty good at it.  Not great, mind; I don’t plan to enter Top Shot or anything, but I’m a solid practical shooter who can reliably “address targets” at reasonable ranges.  And, unlike a lot of gun owners, I’m equally proficient with a large number of platforms.

And that’s where the “gun nerd” title comes in.  I do a lot of firearms research.  I try to keep up on the industry and keep track of what various manufacturers are rolling out.  And, like any good nerd, I have strong opinions.  Like a Star Wars vs Star Trek debate, any argument over which manufacturer is “better” is less a matter of facts than of preferences.  And, as in debates over those classic series, little of the information being argued comes from the original material; much more comes from anecdotal accounts and things read on the internet and the general mythos which has grown up around any given company.

And, yes, I have my favorite gun companies.  And, yes, I’d be happy to argue about them.  But that’s a topic for a different post.

Not Your Average Nerd

Monday, March 19, 2012

• Watched Red Dawn while shotgunning an energy drink and waiting for the maintenance guy to finish cleaning my bathroom fan
• Decided to start a new blog, despite being sober
• Spent nearly an hour debating new blog name
• Finally settled on “Not Your Average Nerd,” largely because it forms the acronym NYAN
• Spent far too long watching Nyan Cat
• Finally left to run errands
• Failed to complete any errands
• Bought a gun

As the title implies, I am not your average nerd.  That I am a nerd, there can be no doubt.  Far too many people have labelled me as such for me to argue to the contrary.  Also, there’s the Nerf arsenal, telescope, vacuum robot, and gajillion miscellaneous computer parts strewn about my living room.

But, sitting between the telescope and the matched pair of Nerf Maverick Rev-6 Revolvers (the Colt 1911A1 of spring-powered foam dart projectile weapons) is a bookcase crammed full of (real) bullets, various gun parts, a pile of cleaning gear, and a half-dozen or so pistols in various calibers.  On the shelf across the room, under the active file server which is dedicated solely to my apartment, is a small library of books on programing and web design, as well as a couple of Chilton manuals and a socket wrench set that has seen actual use on actual sockets.  (I’m kidding.  I know that the socket in socket wrench denotes the interchangeable wrench head used to loosen and tighten bolts, usually hexagonal in nature, of various sizes).  And sitting on my desk is a stock certificate indicating that I own exactly one share of the Green Bay Packers.

I don’t have a juxtaposition for that last one.  I honestly don’t know if it’s nerdy or not.  But I do know that it’s awesome.

Anyway, the point is that I’m not exactly what pop culture likes to insist all nerds are like.  True, I can cite scientific studies from memory and debate the merits of any given Star Trek series, but I can also hold my own in a fistfight, define whiskeys by taste, and punch a fist-sized hole out of a target at thirty feet with a .45 auto.  And that’s why I started this blog: because it’s about time for somebody to speak up for the nerds of the world that don’t act like the characters on The Big Bang Theory.

Even though I do find the show hilarious, I watch it religiously, and I’ve had many lengthy conversations with my roommate that sound suspiciously like they could have been scripted for the characters.